ADAEZE YOBO'S INTERVIEW

OPENS UP ON THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS IN HER LIFE

At only just 21, Adaeze Yobo seems to have the world under her beautiful control. She is an ex-Most Beautiful Girl in Nigeria, she's been married for about two years now to the captain of the national football team, Joseph Yobo. She celebrated the first year birthday of her very adorable son, Joey Yobo, and her husband, had a classy surprise 21st birthday dinner for her, at probably the classiest restaurant in Istanbul (Turkey), where she dined with very close friends and family members. She seem on a roller-coaster ride, and ABIOLA ALOBA  spoke to her to find out how it has all been...

Many would not readily believe you are only 21. You have been in the public eye now for the last three years. How has the last three years been like?

The last three years has been awesome. It's been a life changing experience for me. Everything has happened so quick, from each stage to the other, it's been very quick. And I look at myself and I am shocked at it all. And I look at myself that waoh! I am 21. It all started right before the Most Beautiful Girl in Nigeria pageant and everything after then has been really quick. And from that time till now.

If they had told me that I would be married and with a son, I would not have believed it. It has been the best moments of my life so far and I am just happy.

If I may ask, what is that you have done for God, to have it so good, so early in life and at this point in your life?

I always ask the same question a lot of the time, and I thank God all the time, for giving me such a beautiful family, a peaceful home. I ask God every time, and I still have not gotten all the answers. I just have the grace of God on my life. And in my life, His favour has always been there. And then I got married to a man who has the fear of God in him. His family has the fear of God in them and together with my own family. So, I think it's just the love of God that's been shown in our lives.

Would you consider Joseph's coming into your life, as one of the best things that has happened to you?

Truthfully, he is the best thing to have happened to me. I have never experienced so much love from someone ever in my life before. He is so caring, he is not just like my husband, he is like my brother. So understanding and patient, as you know I am still very young. He is the best I could have ever asked for.

There seem to be this communication you both have. You seem to understand each other just by looking at each other. There seem like a telepathic connection of a sort. How did you both develop this?

I am so shocked about it myself. You will be surprised that our only language of communication is English. But truly, we have our own special way of communicating. We have our arguments without people ever knowing. We just smile and love on. It's not easy, but it's been okay. We are in a stage in our lives. Where we have passed the amateur stage. We are at that stage where we can have a bit of distance between us, and we have eye contact and we know what to say to each other. I don't know how it happens. But I just think it's the grace of God that's making everything work so perfectly.

You rolled out the drums for your son's first birthday. What's it like being a mother to such an adorable son, who at only one is already talking and seems to be really gifted?

I am one of the happiest people on earth. It was a day I had planned so much, and it's because we never really had a big dedication for him. Because we were not really settled, we were moving from one place to the other. So I just thought to roll out the drums for his first birthday, a dedication kind of. Because God has been so good to us. There were kids born at the same time as he was, but have not lived to celebrate a first birthday. So, it's been really great and wonderful to have this kind of joy. He has never been sick for one day since he was born. So for him to hit a year was a big deal for us. And he is our first child, and it's like how we have imagined it to be like. My husband and I had agreed that his one year had to be great. My son is one of the major reasons we are so close, because whenever we look at him, we see ourselves and we are grateful to God for what He has brought to the world through us. The love bond shared by my son and his dad is so awesome you can't imagine it. They both don't notice me, when they are with each other. We both just have that connection, and I just can't explain it. But we are so glad, that we had his birthday party and it was the way we had planned it and it was a success. But all in all, we are grateful to God.

How did you both meet, what's your love story like?

Actually, the first time we met, he didn't know anything about me, and I didn't really know much about him. Aside the fact that the name rang a bell in my subconscious. But I could not really place it then, if he was an actor or sports personality. We met in Abuja at an event, and we spoke, but it was not like we knew he was going to be my boy friend and I, his girlfriend.

It was not like love at first sight?

I think it might have been, may be it was. But at that moment I had not noticed it. I did not know it was something that would go far. But then I got to know he was a football player. And I thought it was going to be one of those things. I never even thought I was going to be married at the time I did. I was not then into the boyfriend thing. I was still discovering myself, I had only just finished the MBGN competition, and what was still on my mind was plans to continue my studies and it was my main focus. So, when we met, we spoke on the first day, but we did not exchange numbers. He had already travelled back to his base, but in the course of our telephone chats, it was as if we had known each other for a while. And he later said it as if we have always known each other. And we ended our chats with the phrase, “Don't be a stranger”.

It was after the initial time, after he said the phrase that I started falling in love with him. And after a while he came to Nigeria, and he over stayed and we were together. About a month after that, he started talking about marriage. And I exclaimed that he must be joking, and he said, he was serious and that he really loved me and I was already in love with him. So, I thought about it, and I said to him “I love you and you love me, so what do I have to lose”. I have never been heart broken before. I think everything that happened was all by God's grace. And it was God's plan for it to happen the way it has. If Joseph had been the wrong person, I would have been the right person. So I believe it was all God's design how it has all turned out. So after we had spoken, I told my mom jokingly when I got back for the first time. I did not know where I got the courage to tell my mom, that someone had asked me to marry him. In my mind, I had thought she was going to say you little rat, who would want to marry you now. But she was actually just normal about it. And she asked where the person was from, and I lied that he was from our place, because I wanted to see her reaction and here if she would have any problems with people from outside our place (Anambra) like I hear from some other families. And she was very curious to know how the person was, I told her she would not know the person. So her reaction, made me a bit stronger. When I saw Joseph later, I asked him if he was sure about his plans, to which he answered yes, because I said to him I had already told my mom. And I said if he was serious, he needed to come and tell my mom himself, and two weeks after our discussion, he came to see my mom. And to my surprise, he was very straight forward with my mom, telling her how serious he was and that we had only just met about two months earlier and that he wanted to take it further. From that moment he had only a week more to stay in Nigeria, and wanted me to follow him immediately to the U.K.

And we both immediately agreed on having a baby. Because we thought about it that what would our baby together look like, and also maybe if I got pregnant, then everyone would know that we were really very serious about getting married, and that we would do a quick wedding.

He left immediately, and after he left, I was going to the hospital every other time to find out if I was pregnant and we were exchanging chats. I am not pregnant oh, it's too early. Now check again later, and after a while I called him to tell him the good news, that I was pregnant. And on hearing the news, he told me he was getting me the next flight to Liverpool. Immediately, so we can start planning the wedding. I told my mom about two weeks after I had the conversation with Joe, that I was leaving for Liverpool, but she was not so supportive about it. I had already made up my mind that I was going, though she didn't know yet that I was pregnant. I made up my mind that I was going to leave no matter what, because at that moment I was so in love with Joseph that no one could have stopped me. So I left immediately and started planning a big wedding, writing lists. The likely venue, and other things. But that didn't work out, because Joe's work schedule was too tight, so I told him I wanted to leave for school. I didn't want the pregnancy to slow me down or stop me from doing anything, so he agreed. And I flew to New York from Liverpool exactly one month after I got there. Between my school work and his work schedule there was really no free time for us to come to Nigeria and really do what we had always wanted. So one day, I just told him that we could just do a court marriage or go to the registry sometime later when we can have it. So we made plans for him to see my people and then we agreed to do a small wedding. I later met his pastor in London, who was a bit disappointed that I had gotten pregnant before getting properly married. So he agreed to fix the marriage into his schedule. He always organises a very big event for the 31st of December, so he fixed our wedding into his programme and that was it. We had the wedding and a little ceremony and Joe left immediately the next day for the nation's cup.

Everything has been in quick succession - meeting, marriage, kid, school, leaving Liverpool and now in Turkey. How has the experience been leaving London for Istanbul?

It's been very nice. I don't know how to compare it, because I was heavily pregnant while I was in Liverpool, because I was in New York when I could readily move about to do anything. So Liverpool was a bit boring for me. U.K was generally a bit boring for me, it might have been because I was at the latter stage of my pregnancy. I thought I still have fond memories of some times in Liverpool. Moving here was together with my husband. I furnished the house personally to out taste, I did everything. My boy is growing here, this place is more like home to me.

So much love seems to radiate towards you from everywhere. Even Joe's team mates seem to love you so much. How has this helped your stay here?

It's been really, really nice. I think Joe himself is a very nice person, and I think that's the reason for the show of love. Because I used to think the players wouldn't bother to come for wive's parties. And this are very important players, the one's who couldn't come sent gifts. So I think it's a function of how they have accepted Joe and because he's a very nice person himself. Immediately after we came here, all the players wanted me to know their girlfriends and their wives, because they wanted me to feel like family and that's why I love this place. I came here with him, to a new place, a new job, fresh start altogether.

So, this has not been a culture shock of any kind to you, you didn't have to adjust drastically in anyway.

At first, I thought the language was going to be a problem, but no! It's a very friendly country, everyone tries very hard to be helpful.  They are very loving, especially to visitors, even if they can't understand you, they do their best to demonstrate with their hands, just to make you comfortable.  Their language has not been a barrier, it is a nice place. Turkey is a great place, it's a different environment for me which is the more reason I love the place. UK is more regular for me. It's a different culture, different language, different music.

Is Joseph going to stay put in Istanbul?

That would be dependent on the agreement he has with the club.  As at now, we do not know if we are leaving for another club. On our side, we love it here.  We don't have any problems here, at the end of the month, we would know for sure. But if it's as par the environment and how they have accommodated us, and how they have tried to make us comfortable, it has been perfect and we couldn't have asked for more than they have done.  So, the decision to either stay or not, is between Joe, Everton and Fenebache.  But if we are saying it's a lovely place and we are moving, then it means God has a better plan for us.

What has it been like being a wife and a mom at this young age?  As it been like a learning curve daily?

I learn every single day. At first it was a bit difficult, especially for my husband.  But the positive thing is that, he has so much patience.  Yes, I had gotten loads of advise on how to go about it all, and when I put them to practise they work.  But the best way, are those things that come to one naturally and freely and how your husband accommodates your behaviour and quietly with patience and love correct you.  It's also about how I accommodate him, because he was also a bachelor before, so there would be some new things for him also. I learn new things every day and it's not from anybody else, but from each other. And the rate at which we are going, by God's grace and with the faith that I have, it's going to be much, much, much better than how beautiful it looks now

You seem to have a fantastic rapport with your mum, sometimes people even mistake you to be sisters.

My mum has always been a free person.  I have just been blessed with a great mother, she's very understanding, like all mothers she can be a bit strict, forward and a little annoying sometimes.  But she can also say the latter part about me too. But that's because we are so close, we are the closest in the house.  We are like best friends, and my sister gets jealous sometime because of our closeness.

Somehow, my mum knows when I am not happy, and that's how it is with me too. I think there is a bond between us, she has been a very good woman all this while and has made me very strong and I know that being who I am today and whatever I am and if I deserve any award for whatever the reason might be, she is the reason why I would get that.

Your mom just remarried recently, what's your thought about that?

All that matters to me is her being happy.  We have been her husband for so long and she has sacrificed a lot for us, never left us for a second.  She's brought us so close to God, she's done so much for us, so we are all very happy.   I love her husband, we all love him. He cares so much about us, he calls us all the time.  He is a very wonderful man.  But all I want, and I am very selfish about it, is for my mum to be happy and I keep asking her if she's happy in it.  Which I have seen from the first time they met, till this moment.  And I am happy she's happy, we all are happy, especially with her husband.  He is a very patient man, very understanding, and very smart one at that. I have never seen a man with so much wisdom,

You seem to have a fantastic relationship with your mother-in-law, how did you nurture this?

To start with, she is a very nice woman.  She's so nice that you can't help but love her.  She can never do no wrong.  You see her very quiet, but she knows everything. I just believe you can never go wrong with someone so nice and with the fear of God. She's not just a Christian by mouth, she's a true Christian by character and action. It shows in all she does and that's the way my sisters-in-law are. I am so happy I got married into the family, everyone is so adorable.  The sisters took me like their younger one, the brothers are great and looking at their mum, I know where they all got it from.