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Sunday, June 9, 2019



The week has been somewhat for me. To say the truth I have been flabbergasted and somewhat overwhelmed. I have had to sit down to ponder on several things. At a point to even sit in one place to type was very hard. My mind was just wondering about, going all over the place. What was it that got to me so much that caused me to react in this listless manner? That's the reason for the subject matter above.

Just imagine that in just under a month or in just 2 months to be a bit more precise, I have lost 3 friends. 3 people I have known now for close to 20 years! These 3 guys were people I went to school with. We all went to University of Ilorin, Kwara State. If I were to extend it further and say in under a year, then I would have said I have lost 5 good friends or good people that I know. From 'Tuoyo Awani' my jolly good paddy, who was always fun to be with, then to the only female in the mix, 'Damola Akande-Teslim', an angel of a lady. Quiet, beautiful, calm and collected, my schoolmate who later married my friend good friend. She just like that, passed on untimely and unfortunately, leaving 2 wonderful little kids behind for my man to care for alone.

Then staggeringly in the space of one month, spanning 2 months altogether, the madness & shocking spiral began with Bamze in far away London. Tall, gangly, buff dude with the booming voice-a gentle giant of a guy. Good guy all the way, in fact a generous soul incomparable. Bamze just gave up the ghost in his sleep, due to what was was said to be cardiac arrest. He left his wife and 2 kids behind. And also other family members loads older than him. Bamze died in London ooooo, not Nigeria so it's not like he was in Lagos and the health facilities here failed him. Nothing of that at all. While one was still mourning that loss of a man just in his middle 40s. While still trying to comprehend and rationalize the whole matter. Then another sad news, an excruciatingly sad one at that floated in again!!! Another paddy, who I had just seen a few weeks prior, at another friend's 50th had passed on again! Kayode Ehindero could only be described as a beautiful soul inside and outside. I hadn't seen him in a while till we jammed sometime ago in London. His company Afrimobile that was into IT & communications were part sponsors of something I was involved in then, in London. Seeing him after a few years after we had left Ilorin, he was still his calm self, a gentleman to the core. Ever always helpful, ready to contribute to others wellness. At Femo's 50th we had taken a picture together and I still said to him that I ll soon see him in his own neck of the wood and we laughed. Apparently that was him bidding me farewell unknowingly. Just imagine the shock to hear he went out for his normal early morning walk, never to return again alive.

Then the most shocking of them all, just happened under 7days ago. I haven't seen Boye since after we left Ilorin. But I remember the good dude quite well. He came in about 2 or 3 years after me, that's more than 2 decades ago now. From the get go we clicked. I used to love dancing a lot and maybe because of that and the fact that nearly everyone were my friends on both campuses-permanent site and mini campus, I got invited to most of the parties, soirees, jams etc on campus, if not all. I had the good distinction of mixing well with those on both campuses.

Boye was a King's College, Lagos boy, so he carried that air to the University. Somewhat confident and then, like I had said before, he was a stepper, a badass dancer, who had great movement. He was also fun and had this type of infectious laughter that came from deep inside. He was a club boy, a member of the Cavaliers one of the major social clubs in school then and also a strong boy too. We all had good fun those days. No airs, no unnecessary forming. Like I love to always say, no color, all colors, no flag, all flags, our creed then was just brotherhood. We didn't care if you were Ibo, Hausa, Yoruba etc. Ours was just all about fun. First forward to now, just imagine such a lovely soul at just 45 years old gone! Like a candle in the wind. Like a puff of smoke cloud, here now and gone the next minute!!!

According to the story, it was a public holiday and he had done some exercise with some friends like he normally does and had gone inside his house afterward, only to feel uncomfortable and as he was being rushed to the hospital, he gave up the ghost, just like that. He died untimely and unceremoniously, most probably due to heart failure. What a shame!!!! Dude was just 45!

Why would a young man, just starting his life just die like that? Didn't they say that life begins at 40? If that be so, Boye was just 5 years done only, same with Bamze and Kay was just knocking on getting to 10years!!!! Now they have all been snatched from us all! My men are gone, never to return via this route again. They have gone on to start another type of journey leaving their wives and kids behind and other family members and friends and associates. We are all still in absolute shock!! (deliberate emphasis). The pain is heart wrenching. The cut too deep. I can't get my head around it. What is going on?????

So I have thought to put this piece together to remind us all about how we can be here now and gone tomorrow if 'absolute care' is not taken by us and those around us. Heaven it is said, only helps those who help themselves. For those who trusts in faith, you must understand very well that faith without works, has no foundation. If you are trusting God, you also have your own good part to play too in it. It is a partnership. He is trusted to do His part, you must also be trusted to do yours too. You must take care of you. Once you clock have clocked 40, then it's another ball game entirely. You cannot just continue to do the same things you were used to, when you were in your 20s. Now more knowledge, wisdom and understanding must be applied on all situations.

Can your heart, especially because of the type of lifestyle you have engaged in over the years, continue to carry the rigors like it used to again? The heart can not be over stressed and cannot survive undue pressures. Many are suffering from depression, frustration, undue pressures from all over. Many in fact sometimes only just need a pat on the back or an outlet just to blow off or let off pent off steam. Families, friends, associates have been the terrible pressures that have triggered the deaths of many. So we just need to stand together to actually be our brother's keepers. For some, in fact many in actual fact, a stitch in time, truly and actually saves nine.

Many have or have had the symptoms starring them in the face, but they have either intentionally overlooked it/them or they just believed that by faith it would just disappear (the Bible in Ecclestiatses 10:10 tells us about "Wisdom being profitable to direct. God deals with each and everyone uniquely and you must know that. He knows we are all different and that we absorb in different ways, so He puts that into consideration in dealing with us all. Please take the time check your health. Do the needful. If because you are under pressure you give up the ghost, for those living, life continues, they would mourn you for a length of time and that's it !!!! If the headaches are getting too frequent, ask questions and check it out. If there's some consistent peppery sensation around your heart or some dull and consistent pain, ask questions and check it out. If you are always having an on and off kind of fainting spells, ask questions and then check it out. If you are losing sensation in some parts, ask questions and then check it out.

Like a car, our bodies gives us those signals to warn us, we were truly well made by the God. In fact the best of machines were modeled after the human body, that tells you how awesome the grand creator is. Once those lights starts to flash intermittently and then repeatedly and then they just remain, they are not there for play, that's the alarm bell ringing, warning asking for immediate actions to be taken.

Please, please, please let's help ourselves. The outside can look great and good, showing like all is well, while the inside is not in good shape whatsoever at all. So that's why the title says 'all that glitters ain't gold'. Fake gold and costume jewelry can initially outshine the real, but what's inside is what counts and over time it would be exposed for what they really are.

May death not knock on our doorsteps 


Mama Borngirl said...

May their souls rest in peace.

Fan said...

Very poignant piece. May you be consoled. If you are feeling like this, can you imagine how heart wrenching it must be for their families. May God give them all the strength and May they be consoled too. Amen.

Touché to a lot of points you made. Once you clock 40 your body is winding down. Our main problem is our bad diet. We are fixing it now with healthier options but it might be too late. My recollection of all the people who have died suddenly from heart ailments are people above 40. This doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen to younger ones too.

A lot of people have undiagnosed weak hearts. They go about healthily and just one form of exercise tips them over. We all need to incorporate one baby aspirin/low dose aspirin at least three times a week to save our hearts. With a combo of high dosage fish oil helps. Aspirin is a life saver especially for blood clots, DVT, embolism and heart ailments. Always good to ask your Doctor about it first before self medicating.

I heard about how Kayode died. One of the worst ways ever. Very sad.

Anonymous said...

Rip to David.

Anonymous said...

So sad that we dont see the impact our lifestyle has on our health,atherosclerotic,is heart disease without symptoms and caused by clog in the artery,that is why Hiit exercises is very important and healthy diets do clear clog of the heart after long run, I am 49 years chronologically and biologically 20years due my strict health diets, no sugar, carcinogenic diet or any LLD cholesterol building fat, is very important to maintain low LLD and high HLD cholesterol in the body, more anti inflammatory and anti oxidants,less cortisol hormone.

Anonymous said...

Hello thanks
I eat alot of sardines does that help. I travel alot but afraid of intl legs, is our blood too coagulated or people just aren't getting enough h2o ,popping champs for water pls WHAT is it?

Anonymous said...

It’s HDL and LDL. HDL is the healthy and good cholesterol and LDL is the bad cholesterol ! You are welcome

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

So sad.. may they rest in perfect peace. Gone far too young. How did Kayode pass if I may ask?

Fan said...


Are you eating sardines bought freshly from the fishmonger/fish shop? Or are you eating tinned sardines which qualify as processed food?

Do you eat sardines every day and will they equate to the daily recommended dose of fish oils we should take?

The reason we take supplements is because some of the foods we eat don’t give us enough vitamins and minerals.

Coagulated blood and not enough water? It’s a lifestyle choice isn’t it?

Anonymous said...

Read through my comments, cholesterol are not really bad if kept in balance between HDl and LDL because body need to produce hormone /testosterone which vital for muscle mass and healthy sex life.

Anonymous said...

Get cold press omega 3 fatty acid because it's impossible to get the daily required dose.Get from Holland and Barret, it very good to clear clog of the artery.

Anonymous said...

Why not check on google yourself? Information is free.

Whilst it's good to keep tabs on one's health, it is NO guarantee of anything.

Anonymous said...

You should watch how you put up peoples obituaries or using these gentlemen as your reason to just put up a post so you can have story... What is all this one for now? Dont you know they have family still hurting and you are using them as an example to the public...Who begged you, Huncle?
You can always pass a message without using them as your example, please..:

Anonymous said...

I totally agree with you. So unnecessary, if not downright disrespectful sef.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

I am confused with this comment. You seemed confused or bitter. What was written on this that will cause more pain to the families?

MamaNaGirl said...

Wow wow wow ajo 4.32AM, i guess u are one of those impossible to impress Nigerians. This man is grieving too, otherwise he could have just wakapass their obituaries and pretend he never knew them. Through this write up i got to know how great these men were. What has he done wrong now? This is beginning of witchcraft may God 'exorcise' you rubbish

Funmilola Leigh said...

So touched by this piece. Sad we have lost such a gangly bunch. said...

May their souls rest in peace. I remember Cav boys dont know if it still exists tho. Miss ilorin days sha