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Sunday, March 31, 2013


It's another edition of Bull's Eye by our now regular columnist-Joseph Edgar. Just like we promised, his no holds barred write-up would be coming up every week. Readers are free to comment and make their views known on the subject matter. However, the views presented in each write-up are strictly his own. And like we have come to understand, we are all entitled to our views. Remember, first and foremost that it's a free world. For this particular edition, he has chosen a very touchy topic- BEATING YOUR SPOUSE- another view.

Please read.

I plead for a high level of maturity as you read this article. I know this is an emotive issue but I beg to look at the other side, the man's side of this issue. I know I will be literally killed for this article and labelled Satan, but the need for us to flip the other side has become imperative.

I have been made to realise that women are the weaker sex and as such all they have is their 'mouth' hence their inability to fight. We as men are expected to just 'walk away and be a man in the face of severe provocation and taunting.

We are expected to control our 'power' which is brute force, while women are not expected to control their own power which is their mouth and ability to taunt you to death.

This is definitely not a justification for brutality against women. Far from it. I feel it is despicable and barbaric. I hate it and in fact I have been on anger management classes to enable me control my temper. But what needs to be said, is that to help in reducing this matter to the barest minimum, our women folk would just have to do their part. Which is to remain logical in the face of anger, cut the taunting and abuse and also lay off on the provocation.

We are expected to just walk away in the face of severe verbal assault. I tell you by walking away, you would just be building up rage and resentment and the eventual explosion is usually more devastating than, if he had sent a slap at the first instance.

Very few men can walk away or be patient in the face of these verbal assaults. Assaults that have no limits. I have witnessed very severe ones where mothers, sexual orientation, financial status have been clear subjects from the women and I have seen full-grown men wimper and cry and the woman walks away triumphant because the man has been a man by crying.


My deduction is that, while we work on the men, plead with them to understand that they are just women and as such we should ignore and be patient, a lot more work has to be done on the women too. They must know how to hold fire no matter the level of their anger, they must know how to have limits even at the height of their provocation. Mothers should not always be the first symbol of abuse, comparing men to their mates who a doing better is waving a red curtain in front of a bull. They must remain rational and hold on to logic. Show respect and not cut off lines of communications. When you stop taking calls, or hiss and face the wall when he is trying to talk would lead to cataclysmic occurrences.

My advise is for both sides to look closely at their weakness- for men, resorting to brute force instead of using other non physical but equally devastating methods and the women resorting to taunts and abuse instead of using other methods like abstaining from sex, refusal to cook and refusal to go see the mum in law- and work on them with a view to achieving a balance.

I dey fear as I write this, because our women crusaders usually jump to kill on this matter without bothering to get a balanced view. I have tried to be objective and would plead for the readers to look at my arguments and not be emotional.

In conclusion, women battering is evil and should not be encouraged and in the same vein verbal assault on men by women is like pouring petrol on fire and should also be condemned and discouraged.,

I thank you


Andrea said...

I don't get this article..One minute you are giving a man's POV and the next it seems like you are on the woman's side....1st off,its a sore topic and women get to be on the receiving end but the bottom line is that men should be strong enough, knowing that they physically stronger, to let it the wrath of a woman's tongue slide....Trust me.there are deadlier ways of attacking a woman without slap and kicks...reject her food after her slavery in d kitchen,ignore her,deny her sex and you'd be glad...#myownopinion

Anonymous said...

As a man, I really don't get why a man would hit his woman. The worst punishment you can dish to a woman - any woman - is to ignore her. For want of a better word, it would so 'pepper' her that she would wish you had hit her.

Women can't take blanking from their men.

Anonymous said...

I agree with both men (I'm assuming the people dat commented b4 me r men). There is absolutely no justifcation 4 a man 2 beat a woman. Dat d writer of dis article suggested dat a small slap is ok so as 2 avoid pent up anger is "dispicable". The sad truth is dat all women r "mouthy". It is in built. It is in our DNA. However d truth is dat some women r worse than others. They can drive u nuts (even when r having an argument with their fellow women).The best way 2 handle these type of women is by blanking them. Try it n c if they won't come running back like babies trying 2 get ur attention.

Now what makes a man a "MAN"? It is not d sugar cane between his legs but his ability 2 control his emotions.Men should realise that violence against women is wrong. I've heard of stories when some women lost their lives as a result of d beating they got from their spouses.

Mizpeppermint! said...

Bullshit!....there is absolutely no justification to dish out physical assault for a verbal one. All women are can u say its ok to send a slap in the first place because someone said something to you? As stated above, there are different ways to deal with the matter. You don't have to degenrate to her level by giving taunt for taunt(though u could try and be labelled as a woman too) but you are to rise above it- You guys are afterall the superior sex innit? Therefore let's see some of that superiority and strength!

Anonymous said...

I want to assume that all that read the article and ve commented above have a biased mind. Simple reason being that they either have not understood what the writer's objective is or they just chose to ignore it. The main objective of the writer in this write up is to try and build-up some campaign for Women to also be able to control their anger/mouth same way that we have a full ongoing campaigns for VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN. The earlier we try to start encouraging women to hold their temper the better for us so we don't end up in situations like the developed countries where all their Men and opting to go marry women from the Asia and some African countries because the Women from there are more humble and respectful of their husbands.

Anonymous said...

Women mouth off to their fellow women too and it does not result in fighting most times. A man who cant control himself is no man.

Do you beat every conductor, "agbero" or policeman that insults you? What of the gun bearing "Mopols" that slap grown men on the streets of Lagos? Why have we not heard of men bold enough to return the slap? Its simply because you know that a woman can't match your strength when it comes to physical combat.

And when you decide to give the woman a small slap and it extends to 10 slaps because she still wont shut up, how do you control yourself so it doesn't get to the point where she joins her ancestors?

Anonymous said...

Women, control your tongues.

Anonymous said...

Gbamest. Beating a woman can pull her love from you and will go straight to another man outside who will respect more . Husbands can take their wives for granted by men outside will respect those women taken for granted by their husbands and this is one major reason why women cheat on their husbands.

Anonymous said...

A+ For ur comment