By: Gbenga Dan Asabe
First and foremost, I pity men who marry women on the fast lane, it is a very, very terrible experience that one must not find himself. A man must be able to not only marry a woman that suits his personality, but must be able to train his woman to suit his sanity.
Yoruba, the language of the gods says "Ile Oko, Ile Eko" (The husband's house is a new school of learning). But, unfortunately, majority of women today, don't want to live by this principle. They want to live large, have fast lane friends and earn fat figured things like cars, houses, jewelries and landed properties without much ado.
They want to either live a crisis laden life style or simply live a lie. And if you are not a man who can be BLIND to all their theatrics, then, you are not a feminist. In fact, you are an animal.
I sincerely sympathize with Mr. Gentry. And I equally sympathize with men who are calling his head for cut, and who fail to see many of the societal pot holes actresses in Nollywood industry have led themselves to either by fault or default.
Last year, I promised to offer my opinion on the Tiwa Savage/TeelBillz issue but i couldn't make do with my intention. I hope what I make out of this one will be good enough to glean the theatrics of the old issue.
More after the break. Click on read more below.
First and foremost, the showbiz industry is full of heartaches and disappointments and I will try to analyze because I was once inside that arm of the art. If you are to marry an actress, musician or famous lady, then, you must be able to live a life of BLIND TRUST. Don't care who helps scrap your wife's pants or touches her bum or even warm her 'middle Volta region' or fiddle her 'upper medium". Don't be bothered because, surely, surely, someone will do somehow, somewhere and the info might get to you someday.
Before I tell you my own raw experience, let me tell you about the theatrics of a fast lane woman's heart. To her, every move is justified. The end justifies the means. We live in a society where materialism carries the day. Majority of these actresses want to shoot 'heavy duty' and highly monetized movies. They want to live above their means and compete in gold, jewelries, shoes and costly fashion accessories. Just like killing is justified in war times, to them, lowering their pants is justified to get the money-man (Even if he is Olori Agbero- head of touts) to drop the coins. The logic is "if he will give me two million Naira to shoot my next movie or buy me the latest Range Rover, why can't he touch my pant and drag it down for a show of five, ten or just thirty minutes?"
"Yes, I will bring the money home and my husband will get his fare share. So, why not?"
The other scenario is this: a politician, business man or man of God (Apostle?) watches a pretty actress on the television and his loin growls for some lubricated pleasure and he goes like this "Wao! Who can get this babe for me?" and someone somewhere boasts "sir, i know her. She is a friend to so, so and so person". Pronto, there is a commission for him to get her and before you know it, cobweb of contacts are spawn around and the actress is found out for the politicians, business man or man of God's lustful appetite.
"Madam, what does it take me to bed you because I am already dying for you?" the question is thrown at her. A jeep, a house, cash or landed property? Oh, you want to shoot a new movie? Your own movie?"
Only few (5%) can turn such offer down from a rich lost for sex libido sharpened man? This is where majority of our fast lane actresses get into the trade of sex-for-cash and before long, it becomes a culture. And because the Holy Bible describes women as "Ohun Elege" (A soft object) they soon fall into the evil ceremonies of such acts. There are stories already lining for us to learn from except we chose to study from the university of stupidity or as a man, you chose to be plain stupid. The Toyin Aimaku/ Seun Egbegbe scandal is still much around. The Bukky Wright versus her American (Lekki millionaire) based husband is still fresh in memory and many, many more. They can not hold a matrimony simply because they want to live large and die sad.....
Many years ago, I worked under a famous artist who ended up making me sadder than happy. I wanted him to make me a star but i never knew he wanted a house help and he used me for couple of months before i made my way out. But I learnt a lot of lessons from the little stay with him. I saw a lot of dirty things in that movie industry. It was there I learnt and saw how sex and the crave for sex can turn good mannered and good looking women into dogs in five minutes. It was crazy, it was fiery and it was funny. I saw sex. Raw sex. I touched sex, raw sex.
On movie location sets, you see a good looking man, who works in a bank, come and drop his wife at the location. She is an actress, the husband is a banker and once he is off to work, an ordinary camera man becomes his wife's new lover. We had a famous camera man in those days who had a nick name that starts with letter "B" and ends with letter "R". He was the darling of many of those actresses. Beautiful actresses, married by well behaved men. They become useless on movie locations as men, ordinary men, hit their bums and scram their "middle Volta (voltage) region" for quick, lustful pleasure, especially during evening or night recordings. We used to have situations when power (NEPA) is gone for some minutes and before you say "Action" some two adults are already yanking themselves off in a room. When you mistakenly barge in, the man will say "Tani o (who is it)?" while the lady is busy moaning away. You introduce yourself and dash out immediately because you don't want to break "the steam".
It is called "location quickie" and it is often done between a camera man with his actress lover, a producers with an actress or an actor and his actress lover. And sadly enough, married adults. In fact, there was a famous female actress (she later went to Ametica to 'struggle") who was married to a doctor. He will bring her to movie locations or wherever she was showing her movie. He will stand by her with his bulky stomach and with a stick of cigar in his hand coupled with his dark google. He was good to her, at least, from what we saw. But unfortunately, his fair complexioned wife was flirting with a famous movie promoter whose office was near Ola Ayinde by Toyin Street. He later moved to Ogundana Street, off Allen and died some couple of years ago (4 or 5 years ago?). As a movie boy, i saw all, and more. It was there and then i discovered that chemistry was more powerful than Christianity ( or Islam). Sex is a different religion. A different ball game. It reigns supreme in the movie industry.
SO, WHAT NEXT?
If you are to marry an actress, you either turn a BLIND MAN by signing a BLIND TRUST or you simply STOP HER and fix her for another business. Why? There are some friendship you must deny her in order for you to be able to call her "My wife". There are some associations you must cut away from her for you to be able to enjoy her trust. For you to find peace, you must re-train her. A woman who sleeps around for money or affluence is a glory destroyer to her husband. The best decision is to keep her off your life. Stop the relationship and find peace. The worst thing that can happen to a man is for him to attend an event with his wife, and 90% of male attendees on his table have been 'lucky' to see or visited, touched, tampered or "handled" his wife's middle Volta (voltage) region". There is nothing psychologically humiliating as that. It could kill. Majority (75%) Nigerian actresses are heart breakers. They break their men's heart without feelings. Everything starts and ends with M-O-N-E-Y. However, there are good ones. Few good ones. We can always count them on the tip of our fingers.
SO, WAS MR. GENTRY RIGHT TO SLAP HIS WIFE?
I started my article by saying i pity Mr. Gentry. He ought not to have gone in in the first place if he doubted her trust on the issue of zip and pant. He didn't need it. He should have 'chop and clean mouth'. The law is simple, if you want to be in the limelight, marry a home keeper. A quite woman who hates the spotlight. That is why till date, you will never hear any scandal about Mr. Bisade Ologunde (Lagbaja). His wife is anonymous. Mr. Gentry might have found himself in tight corners. For those who blame him, we must not try to cast the first stone. If you hear that your best friend has visited your wife's "middle Volta Region" you will definitely run mad. You might even contemplate jumping into the lagoon like Teel Bliz did last year. I am not saying Mrs. Gentry (Mercy Aigbe) sleeps around. I am only saying the industry she belongs, has a pedigree for such obnoxious acts. I am not saying it is good for him to flog, cane or beat her, i am only saying he is human. He is not infallible. He could be mad. He could be crazy. He could be frustrated.
However, the husband of a roving actress must not be a man with a roving eyes so that his eyes are not blurred with the skirmishes of his wife. He must learn to live by a BLIND TRUST or check out of the emotional rat race.
...Let the discussion continue!